Let’s face it. Most of our cities have bad roads. The reasons are many — maybe, it is the volume of traffic or the unseasonable rain. You may own the fanciest car, but life is a great leveller. Your fancy car must negotiate a mud-road here and a ditch there, a pothole here and a crater there. In the process, it gets all bruised and battered, and soon, it is reduced to a shadow of its former, pristine self.
Earlier this week, I saw a road-roller parked by the wayside. It was a Eureka moment. Why not sell the car and buy this road-roller instead? The more I thought about it, more overwhelming were the benefits.
Owning a road-roller is like taking matters into your own hands, taking the bull by its horns, as they say. Bad roads? No problem at all! The road-roller will level the bad road to submission. You pave your own path, literally! And once you have levelled the road, think about the rest of humanity. They can simply follow you, your road-roller’s footprint, rather. This is exactly what the poet meant when he wrote, “Footprints that perhaps another, sailing over life’s solemn main, a forlorn and ship-wrecked brother, seeing, shall take heart again!” What better social service than this, I say?
Many of us have an intrinsic desire to own a posh car. Why? Introspection will reveal we do not want the car per se, we want that “attention”, to be a “head-turner”, a “cynosure of all eyes”, as they say. For this attention seeker, a road-roller is like manna from heaven. After all, the biggest head-turner on the road is the road-roller. It’s like riding atop an elephant. Who will not notice you, looking regal and majestic, as you hurtle down the road, on your road-roller?
Most of our cars are too delicate. Just one touch from a neighbouring car, and it crumples like paper. Think about the number of times the fender has got dented, or the sides scratched? A road-roller will have none of these problems — no dents, no scratches, nothing! It is built like a beast, like a bison, like a Patton tank!
Any innovation will face initial resistance. Imagine…you are about to turn your road-roller into a mall. The security man rushes at you, all bewildered. “This is not allowed,” he may protest. You will have to combat him, “What do you mean this is not allowed? This is my vehicle!” He will likely keep you waiting, to get permission from his superiors. And meanwhile, the other cars in line, will curse you, for delaying them too…with this monstrosity ahead of them. Such episodes are possible. Getting permission from the home department will not be easy. “I am planning to sell off our Honda!” Wife will ask excitedly, “What a sudden decision! What car should we buy?” You will have to summarily interrupt her. “I am thinking...out of the box, this time. I am planning to buy a road-roller!” Yes, it will take some convincing at home, for sure.
The apartment-complex folks will protest. After all, apartment parking lots are compact. It is possible that the front of the animal will stick out, inconveniencing other vehicles. One thing is for sure — once you have parked your road-roller, they can do nothing. They cannot tow your vehicle away, much less, puncture the tires!
When we weigh the pros and cons carefully, the advantages of a road-roller outweigh the negative points, hands down. I am waiting for the day to drive my road-roller down M.G. Road.
Aye! Aye! Aye! Here cometh the road-roller! Here cometh the road-roller! Get out of the way!
shankar.ccpp@gmail.com
Published - January 26, 2025 04:44 am IST
